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Introducing the Stephen Harper ‘Just Vacationing’ Out-of-Office Reply Challenge

Posted on January 5, 2010

Stephen Harper: Just vacationing

When hardworking Canadians go on vacation, they do the responsible thing and set up an automated out-of-office reply explaining their absence. But when Stephen Harper shut down Parliament to take a 3-month winter vacation he barely offered an excuse.

Clearly, Steve, in the corner office, missed the day HR went over office protocol. He could use your help. That’s why we’re asking Canadians to submit their 140-character suggestion for Harper’s out-of-office reply.

The winner will take home a one-of-a-kind Stephen Harper “Just Vacationing” holiday package that includes a loud Hawaiian t-shirt, monster bottle of sunscreen and a 3-month Get-Out-Of-Work-Free Pass (because if the Prime Minister can do it, why can’t you?).

This challenge is currently closed. Thank you to everyone who responded.

Your entries

For a Senate seat, press 1. For big stimulus cheques, press 2. If you lost ministerial documents, press 3. For accountability, leave a msg.
We’re sorry; your rights cannot be exercised at this time. Please consider your vote again. This is a proroguing.
Steve here. If your message is about detainees or prorogation start your message now and hang up at the beep…Otherwise start at the beep.
This is the PMO. Your democracy is currently unavailable. Leave a message and someone will get back to you. When it’s convenient. Maybe.
I’m busy scheming and I have gone to extraordinary lengths to not be disturbed. Had your call been important you would have been contacted.
Hey I went to Copenhagen. What else do you people want? Now I’m off to warm my globe.
Hi you’ve reached the Prime Minister’s office. Now get lost.
A little miffed no one believes I’m writing a book, quieting rumours by taking some time off to complete it.
Answering machine?! We don’t have no stinking answers!!
The Conservatives are out office until 03 March 2010. Please expect no response whatsoever. For urgent issues, wait until our return.
Sorry, I’ve only 3 months to rehearse for the new season of Canadian Idol I’m getting tired of politics and will try and make it as a singer
My Canada is a peacekeeper, a world leader in green technology, respectful of employees, citizens and Parliament. Just joking. On vacation.
Stephen Harper: Just visiting Parliament. Taking a vacation from doing his job, but still gets paid with benefits.
Hi, you’ve reached the PM. Leave your message and I’ll be sure to ignore it, just like I do with everything and everyone I disagree with!
***beep*** the customer you have reached is currently out of the service area *** click
Error 408 Request Timeout: Harper prorogued Parliament before things got sticky.
The Prime Minister’s Office is closed. That’s all you need to know. Go away!
What? Me Worry?
Thank you for your message. Sorry I cannot take your call but I am busy fettering democracy.
The number you have reached is not in service. Please check the number and dial again. This is a recording.
Please note, I am currently out of the office and do not plan on returning until March 3…but I may stay away longer…or call an election.
Hi, this is Stephen Harper, I am not available or accountable, so don’t ask me to be. Goodbye!
You have reached the PMO. Things were overheating on Parliament Hill. Conservative savings measures dictate that I shut down the furnace.
This is Steven Harper, sorry you did not find me. I am out of the office, hoping to find myself. Call again in 3 months.
Out to lunch, permanently. Out of the office, 3 months.
Sorry you missed me! But frankly, I wouldn’t pay attention even if I were around. Vote for me in the Spring! Peace out!
Harper’s office: “Just visiting” as my ego does not appreciate parliamentary democracy, all too tiresome, methinks.
Please do not reply; this message was sent from an unmonitored account. For inquiries, or to request information about torture, take a hike.
“Canada takes things seriously. Like men’s Hockey. How seriously does Canada take men’s hockey? Serious enough to shut down government.”
Being the Prime Minister gets me free seats to every Olympic hockey game. I’m too excited to get any work done. See you in three months.
Hi this Steve, if you are a Canadian and believe in Democracy, pls don’t leave a message, I don’t deal well with that kind of stuff.
Hi this the PM and I have chosen to Cut and Run away from the job and my problems. I’ll be in hiding til Mar 3.
I will return on March 3rd. For detainee related issues please contact my closed door. For all other PMO issues; I’d rather just go away thx
Click. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppp.
Thanks for the message. Please note that I will be back in the office March 3rd-ish
This is Stephen Harper, I’m away on vacation because I get very tired trying to keep my defense minister from speaking on afghan detainees.
You have reached the office of the PM, he was last seen running from the Hill and his problems headed towards the Games. Check back Mar 3
You’ve reached the Office of Stephen Harper. I’m currently not in the office but please leave a message at the beep………(line gets cut)
You’ve reached Stephen Harper, I’m too busy developing a strategy for a majority government to bother being your PM at this time. BEEP
Hi there. I am currently out of the office taking a knitting course to make some of those fancy sweaters for the election. Knit on dude!
I will be out of the office until March 3rd vacationing with Sarah Palin in Hawaii, seeking advice on this whole going “pro-Rogue” thing.
On vacation. Since committees and House are shut down, opposition MPs who wish to contribute budget ideas are asked to Twitter the PMO.
I will be out of office for *blacked out* I will respond *blacked out* If you have questions about accountability *blacked out* … Stephen Harper
This is the CEO. Pesky auditors were getting too nosy so we’re closed for business. Shareholders’ interests are not at risk. Trust me.
I am currently out of the office, but not out of office. Decisions which cannot be made in a partisan fashion will be ignored until March 3.
Your message is important; once my spin-doctors have examined a response, I will get back to you. In the meantime, why don’t you renovate?
I’ll be away from the office, returning March 3. If I felt the need to justify or explain my absence you wouldn’t be reading this right now.
My job is hard when Parliament holds me accountable for my mistakes. I need a break – you understand.
Dear Canadian citizen: We’ll get back to you when we figure out a good reason for the PM to prorogue your parliament. Enjoy the Olympics!
You have reached the office of the part-time Prime Minister. Mr. Harper can’t be reached because he doesn’t want to hear from you.
Warning: This is an automated reply. Our accountability plan is on hold indefinitely. Therefore, your query will not receive a response.
Apparently my olympian arrogance clashes with the actual Olympics. See you in March!
Thank you for your message. Your credit card has been charged $56 Billion to pay off our debt.
You’ve reached the office of Stephen Harper. I’ll be back in the office March 3rd to continue my work eroding democracy.
You have reached the office of Stephen Harper, PMO. I will return March third and will castigate you and your call at that time. Thank you.
Stephen Harper here. I’ll be back March 3rd. Please leave a message – I don’t really care what you think, but it makes it seem like I do.
I’ve shut down the work of Parliament because, um, yeah. Because. In case of Emergency, we’re up the creek with no paddle. Happy New Year!
Can’t answer the phone right now, I’m having way too much fun right now, don’t leave a message, I doubt the issue is important.
The Afghan Detainee issue was getting WAY too hot so I am currently away hiding my head in the sand. Hey, it worked before so why not now?
I’ll make it clear, I am not here cause I’m a rogue who likes to prorogue. I’ll be back in the spring after my Olympic fling. Adieu to you
Hello, this is Stephen Harper, I am not here & will return ……. Hello, this is Stephen Harper, I am not here & will return …… Hello …
Sorry, out of the office until I recover from the exhaustion of avoiding responsibility, dodging questions and ignoring Canadians.
Stephen Harper is not available, due to the pressure of staying in power. We will continue to collect your taxes in the meantime.
You have reached the Prime Minister’s office. We are currently prorogued, but will returning March 3rd; at which time we will be proroguing.
Please note that I will be away from my office until it is taken away from me.
Canadians will understand that to silence the detractors…er, maintain stability, we will be taking a break. Thanks for your vote in 2010!
You’ve reached King Harper. I’m currently away from my palace. Please leave a message and I may get back to you; unless it’s about torture.
Hi, you’ve reached Steve. I can’t take your call because it’s Harper time and that’s my prorogative.
The entire Conservative Government is currently out of office, and will return when they feel like it. Is this a sweet gig or what?
The boss is out, if you must e-mail me to tell me how bad I am I’m just going to ignore it from far away… One of us should be happy… SH
Thank you for calling. Please do not leave a message after the beep as I am once again on a ‘prorogued’ vacation. Happy holidays!
Needed a break from those pesky voters
When it appears I can’t succeed … prorogue, prorogue, prorogue! Will continue to show my contempt for parliament in March. Steve-o
The Amazing Stephen Harper here. I have foregone parliament to rely on my psychic powers to improve the lives of Canadians. Send $19.99 to..
Hi! You’ve reached Steve, Rob, Greg, Marj, Pete, Vic, Jim, John, Larry, Tony and Jay. We’re at the Olympics, so leave us a message because democracy is so inconvenient.
I am currently away from my office and will not return until a time that is deemed politically expedient. Until then please watch hockey
Thank you for calling the Prime Minister’s office and the Government of Canada, your call is important to us, Please Hold Until March 3rd.
Pro-ro-rogue your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream.
Please note I will be out of the office until March 3. If you need immediate assistance, or are seeking accountability from me, too bad.
Can’t respond: need to reflect on economy and decide what’s best for you Canadians. So leave a message. Back after the Olympics (Go Canada!)
I am not here and that is all you need to know. If your representatives deign to ask where I am, there will be an election.
I will be unable to respond to your email until I am in majority territory. Please do not hold your breath waiting for an answer.
My horoscope said “Great games await in your future.” Olympics, here I come!
Thanks for your message. I’m told it’s a leap year so I’m leaping over the minute stuff, like Parliament.
Canadians want Democracy Dumplings, not Prorogies!
Dear Canadians: In order to ensure that our men’s hockey team has our full support I’ve had to take a break until early March.
Really? Really? You expect me to be here? Sorry, I’m gone, check back later.
Please note, I would much rather focus on a re-election strategy than deal with real issues at parliament. See you all in March!
PM Harper is not available at the moment. If you are a Canadian Citizen please do not leave a message, I will not listen to it later.
Hi, Stephen here. There’s no one in Parliament now. But if you’d like to leave a message, I’ll ignore it as usual. Have a nice day, I will.
Hi, I am away following and supporting the Vancouver Olympic Games… It would be undemocratic and un-Canadian to do otherwise. Do the same!
Sorry, needed to practice to make the Olympic hockey team. And hey, if I’m not ready I’ll call Jacques Rogge to prorogue the Olympics too!
You have reached the Cantel network…the customer you are calling is unavailable at the moment…please try again later
My fellow Canadians, let’s think about torches, not torture. I’ll see you in the spring, when the flames have gone out.
Defending my abysmal record at Copenhagen has left me drained. I need a break. I’m sure you understand.
Thanks for calling. I’ll return your call in about 3 months. The opposition were too close for comfort so we had to flee. This is much safer.
I’ve left it a little late, but I’m training for Team Canada. If they want funding next year, they’ll put me at centre with a big blue “C”.

I wanted an extended holiday, since I have the power to do it, I did. Who needs democracy?